Meet David Bremner – Ambassador Programme Lead in Portsmouth

I grew up in a stable (questionable) family home: Mum, Dad, me and my 3 siblings. My early life was spent living in Doncaster except for a couple of years living in Elgin (Scotland). I went through school, although I learnt early on that this was not the place for me, and I willingly became the class clown. Being the class clown helped me to attract many friends. I later learnt the saying “You attract like-minded people” and this is what happened. By the time I was approaching my adolescent years, smoking was cool. Drinking cheap cider was a little cooler and taking recreational drugs for fun was off the charts cool.

I remember taking my first Trip (LSD) and the feeling from this was the answer to all my prayers. I belonged to something (not sure what I belonged to, but I had the feeling) and the world seemed like a better place when I looked at it through using LSD.

At the same time, there appeared to be better things to do than attending school and my attendance soon dropped off. I spent a lot of my time sitting on the grounds of the local mental health hospital, chatting and getting to know the patients. Something I will come back to a little later. As you may expect from this, I left school with little qualifications. Apart from the one that lasted me for the next 10 years. I was qualified in using heroin. This helped me deal with the anxiety of leaving school and finding my place in the big wide world.

I celebrated my 16th, 18th and 21st birthdays sat in my room using heroin. My mum did encourage me to go back to college and try to gain some qualifications, and there seemed to be a big push for engineers so I decided this was what I was going to do. College did not last long, I needed money, so I dropped out and joined a Youth Training Scheme. This was not much better than having no money, although I wanted to show my mum I was more than capable of achieving something. I passed this Engineering NVQ 2 in 3 Months. I then moved on to work in many different Factories across Doncaster.

This all helped me to pay for my heroin. For a short time. I then become an opportunistic thief to help along the way. This brought about some trouble for me, and I had to learn how to talk my way out of numerous situations. I moved out of the family home and into a 2-berth caravan in the back garden. My parents thought this might help to reduce the disturbance I caused around the house.

My mum would give me money each day to try to keep me out of trouble, but I began falling into debt and owed money to many dealers in my area, who would come round to my family home demanding money. My parents could not cope with this pressure and rather than moving me on, they decided they were going to pack up and move away. I did not know any details of where they went, and I had no way of contacting them. I guessed they may have moved back to Scotland as my parents were Scottish and often talked about moving back there.

I soon lost another job after an opportunity presented itself to me and I took the bait. I stole the manager’s wallet that I found while sifting through his office. I then had little choice but to start shoplifting. I thought I was good at this, but I was caught numerous times. I began living on the streets and although this was a tough time for me, I can look back at this experience and appreciate the support I received from the homeless community. I spent some time in a bail hostel due to shoplifting and got myself kicked out due to shoplifting. The Courts decided to put me on a DTTO (Drug Treatment and Testing Order) which did have some benefits. They gave me a travel warrant so I could go out of my local area to shoplift. On my first appointment, I was told I had a choice of either Methadone or Subutex. I declined both, suggesting I was not letting them have control of my life. This left me feeling unwell. Anyway, they ended up giving me unlimited funding to go to treatment. I was shown a map of England and asked where I wanted to go. I picked Newcastle. My anxiety got the better of me on a couple of occasions before I was due to go to the rehab and I tried to get off my DTTO. I committed further thefts and went to jail, but the judge was so pleased I was going to change my life he kept me on the DTTO when I was released.

I spent 15 months in the Phoenix House CBT rehab before being evicted for drinking. The rehabs second stage had a controlled drinking program. I could drink 5 nights a week. I failed the breath test on a non-drinking day. The bonus to being in the rehab was that I was able to gain contact with my family again. After leaving the rehab, Newcastle Council did house me quite quickly however they moved me in next door to a heroin dealer. It never took me long to get on this and introduce myself to my new neighbour.

I never really wanted to go to rehab, I was ordered by the Courts. So, I guess I never really put my whole self into the program. I did learn loads about myself though and about my thoughts, feelings/emotions and behaviours. This ruined my heroin use. I never really got that escape from reality that I once knew, and it didn’t take me long to start looking into going back to rehab. I managed to gain funding again and tried to get back into the treatment centre in Newcastle. They declined suggesting that I would be able to manipulate my way around their structure. They then challenged me to go to Hampshire, which was part of the same Pheonix family. I agreed to this and was again given unlimited funding.

Arriving in Hampshire I knew I needed to do this and stayed in the rehab for 15 months before my funding was pulled. I then moved into supported housing in Portsmouth. I guess now looking back, I was lucky to meet my partner Stacey in my early days of coming out of treatment and she quickly fell pregnant. Not once but twice and I had 2 beautiful daughters Chloe and Caitlyn. Being a dad hasn’t always been easy and having a child with a rare chromosome disorder added some more difficulties to it, gave me some more battles to fight. The toughest fight I’ve had in recovery is against the educational system.

Anyway, Life goes on and I became a support worker. Firstly, working in the local Community Day Rehab. Then I moved into Substance misuse housing. Then with my skills from sitting in the local Mental health Hospital, instead of going to school (As I mentioned earlier), I moved into Mental Health Supported Housing, which became my life for around 8 years. As I am writing/typing this I am around 1 year in my current position Ambassador Program lead and I have never had a job where I feel so appreciated or where I have been able to create so many opportunities for the people I work with.